How I became a Housewife, Part 2, Finding my Vocation in a Politically Incorrect Passage of the Bible

[You might like to read Part One here.]

I became a housewife in stages.

The first time I came home was out of necessity. I had babies and a house and I needed to be there to take care of them. A marriage, house, plus an outside career was doable (though in hindsight I can see many things were neglected even then). But add in the babies and it was all just too much. I call this first crisis “Trying to Do it All 1.0.” So I accepted and embraced my role as a Stay-At-Home-Homeschooling-Mom, even found it enjoyable and fulfilling, and I settled in for the duration of their childhood years.

And so it was that when the children started to get older and more independent, I entered into a second crisis, “Trying to Do it All, 2.0”.

Both my sons were set to attend a private high school. Thinking that now that homeschooling was completed I would have loads of free time, I found myself restless and thinking I might resume my teaching career. 

Working seemed like the thing to do. Everyone I knew worked outside the home. My friends, the women at church, family members. I didn’t have children at home during the day anymore. Maybe it was time for me to get a job, too? I hardly knew anyone who just stayed at home and kept house. 

So when a parent called me and told me of an opening for a Spanish teacher at the local high school, begging me to apply, I decided to call up the school and see what was going on...I interviewed, was offered the job and accepted it that day. 

Immediately I had doubts about whether I was doing the right thing. So much during those fifteen years (1990-2005) I had been at home…in education and in society…had changed.   The night before school started, I cried my eyes out.  I loved my home, my family, and it felt very sad to be leaving them even for part of the day. That should have been a red flag.

But I also felt excited and I threw myself into my new career. My students did well, and they learned.  I had good evaluations and feedback from parents.  I made girlfriends among the faculty.  At the same time, I struggled to deal with the new demands of  a large number of students, many of whom were apathetic, as well as new federal policies and mandates.  I was quickly becoming disenchanted with the public schools, but I was determined to make it work.

In the meantime, both my sons did well in high school, went on to university on scholarships, and my husband and I settled into empty-nest married life.

Within a few years, I was offered a position at the private Christian school I had previously taught at when I was a young mother. I took it, remembering the pleasant experience I had there, and I stayed there five years. 

Unfortunately, that experience turned out to be almost as disappointing as the public schools and so I decided to give public education one more try. After three hard years at this school, I came to the conclusion that the whole process and approach to education (as well as society) had changed too much for me. I wanted to find my way back home.

But there were problems at home, too.

The law of entropy is true: things tend to fall apart. And the house, being neglected while I took a deep dive back into a career, was falling apart.

Twenty-five years of homeschooling then classroom teaching had turned my house into a hot mess. We did have a cleaning service come in every other week and the house was superficially clean, but I knew what lay underneath:  the deep, lurking disorder of untended shelves, drawers, and files. 

My house was out of control and I didn’t have the time nor the energy to deal with it.  

I found myself unsettled. I cared about the state of my house. The disorder of my house reflected the disorder of my spirit, which began to bleed over into our marriage. My husband seemed to have this uncanny ability to be able to work as well as pursue his hobbies and interests, which I found myself increasingly resenting. And we had much less time together as a couple as I played catch-up around the house in the evenings and on the weekends. I realized my life was out of balance.

Why was I trying to “do it all”?  “Maybe there is something inherently untrue about even trying?” whispered a little voice….

I revisited my decision to return to teaching. I had spent time and money getting my degree. I had successfully homeschooled my own children. I was educated for this. I was trained for this. I had experience in this. Surely teaching was my vocation? And there was a great need for teachers in our area. Therefore, I should teach. Right? And once I started teaching, I found out that I was good at it. Would I be wasting this talent if I just stayed at home and folded towels? 

But I knew that the most important things to me and to my marriage, my priorities, were being neglected. My life was out of balance.

Finding my Base

Some folks get flashes of brilliance when it comes to working out their life purpose, but for me, it took years of prayer and study. So I began to seek God in what I called my “self-therapy sessions”.  I would get up early in the morning before school, around 5:00 a.m., and read the Bible, pray and write in a journal. In the front of the journal, I wrote meaningful passages of scripture I came across with a comment or two. In the back of the journal, I wrote about the things that were going on in my life and at school and my attempt to make sense of it all.

All the time I kept on teaching, cooking meals, keeping house, gardening. I had a certain pride in being a wife, mother and homemaker who also had a successful career. I told myself I was oriented toward my home and kept it my priority even though I had outside business. I was that woman doing it all! A “boss babe”!

And I was also exhausted and resentful. 

Why was I doing this to myself?

The key belief I had was that if I didn’t have a career, I would not be fulfilling my potential as a human being. I had this belief that if I wasn’t out there in the world using my talents, I was letting myself, my family and the community down. This is why I kept at the teaching even though it was making me crazy. In truth, we didn’t need the money. My husband never pushed me to work, although on the other hand he never said, as he had when we had babies, “Honey, I think you should be at home.” He was leaving the choice up to me.

So I would come home after work and do the “second shift” of cooking and laundry…and my husband would come home after work and relax and read on the couch or lift weights.  Then he took up bicycling for exercise. He began taking cross-country cycling trips with his new biking friends. I would stay at home and grade papers or “catch up” on the house. Disturbingly, I found myself secretly looking forward to his trips because, with him gone, my life was easier and I could focus even more on my teaching and housekeeping catch-ups. These thoughts scared me because I knew that, really, I loved him so much. Also, his cycling activity was revving up his middle-aged body and our love life was hotter than ever! 

Nonetheless, I had a few meltdowns in which I would start feeling sorry for myself/ cry/ scream/ throw things and generally act like a child. Mike would just watch me and I knew that he was confused, too. What had happened to his previously happy wife? He was being a loyal, steadfast husband, as always, but something in me had changed. 

Neither of us gave up. Mike kept being his hard-working, patient, yet uncompromising self, and cycling, and I kept on getting up early every morning for my therapy/Bible reading sessions.

The Discovery

The part of the Bible that I kept coming back to in my morning sessions was Paul’s letter to Titus. In it, Paul deals with how to organize the growing church and how to get it going in the right direction.  And that was what I also needed: a clear direction and purpose, and order…and more order. I needed to understand my first responsibilities and find steadfast purpose:

But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh godliness, not false accusers, not addicted to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be wise, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.

Titus 2:1-6

So…being a wife, mother and keeper of the home was Christian ministry? It was making a viable contribution to the world? It seemed that Paul was saying this was the best way for a married woman to bring glory to God and the Gospel of Christ.

I surrendered everything to God and decided to let the teaching go and simply focus on my marriage, family and home.  In the Spring of 2017,  I resigned from teaching to become a housewife.  

The Conclusion

I’ve had many starts and stops on this journey. It has taken inner work, unlearning and learning. All my life I had heard that a woman must have her own career to have value. That if she has talents they must be used in the marketplace. These messages came in subtle and not so subtle ways…in school and college, women’s magazines, advertising, books and novels, tv shows and movies, peers, and even parents. I had spent very little time hearing, or rather listening to what God has to say about a woman’s role.

Once I opened my Bible, I found the truth; but then I had to learn how to practice it. It took time to hear, understand and then process that I didn’t have to go out into the world and prove myself, that homemaking is in itself an important vocation.

I am a housewife. This work is not a job nor a career…but a divine calling. The home is my God-assigned place of ministry and contributes to the well-being of my marriage, my children and family, the church, the community as well as bringing to myself much good.

As I embrace this responsibility and give my talents to it,  I find great blessings:  peace, provision, stability, fulfillment, joy. 

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.  ~Matthew 6:33

Love,

Amy Laurie <3

How I Became a Housewife, Part One

Growing up, my mother was a housewife, but I was not encouraged to follow in her footsteps. It was the 1970s and early 80s and society was in the throes of feminism; the liberated, independent woman was celebrated and being “just a housewife” had acquired some stigma. It was also a time of rising consumerism, and with more fabulous stuff to buy and enjoy, places to go and see, women were leaving their houses in droves to earn a paycheck to buy it all. So maybe there was good reason to not steer young women into that vocation.

So how did I become a housewife? I came to this vocation in stages, with occasional forays back into the public workforce. But hopefully my journey will be instructive as it charts my changing attitude toward home, marriage and housework.

Girlhood 

It all started in my imagination.

I had a happy girlhood in a small, rural town in Tennessee, playing indoors with dolls but also spending much time outdoors riding bicycles, climbing trees and playing with childhood friends.

I became a great reader and I was especially drawn to stories about housewife/homesteaders of the past like Abigail Adams and Rachel Jackson and in the quiet of the library my thoughts travelled back in time and dreamt of pioneer days.

At home,  I played “homestead” in the backyard and acted out being Laura Ingalls Wilder….wearing braids, long dresses and bonnets, managing a farm household, making pies and raising children.  

It was about this time that my grandmother happily taught me to crochet, knit and sew. And my mother introduced me to cooking and baking.

Going into my teenage years, my activities began to change. My friends and I became involved in sports, I had more homework to do, worked a summer job and, consequently, had less time for the feminine arts.

But still, after school or practices, I would browse through my mom’s Southern Living magazines, devouring the pictures of beautiful homes and gardens and trying some of the recipes. At night, I read historical romances and biography and began writing my own short stories about pioneer women of the past.

Christianity

I was raised by Christian parents and fell in love with a Christian man.

Religion was not a part of my early years but after a family tragedy , my parents began to seek for faith. They began reading books by Christian authors like C.S. Lewis and Francis Schaeffer and this made a great impression on me. My father had been raised in the church of Christ, and we began attending the services, bible studies there faithfully and became heavily involved in church activities. We hosted home Bible Studies and fellowships. Our home was a hospitable one. I was heavily influenced by all this and, at age 10, I was baptized and became a Christian. 

It was at church on a Wednesday night that I met my future husband, Michael, a handsome, young lawyer who had just moved to town to start his practice.  He sat behind me, and after the Bible study we chatted and talked quite a bit. Mike had attended an undergraduate Bible college and I deeply respected him for that. I think I fell in love instantly…and went home and told my mother I believed I would marry him someday. She told me to be a good girl, and maybe someday I would (gentle smiles). Mike and I became friends…playing tennis, hiking and just generally having adventures together. 

College and Courtship

But the more immediate matter at hand was my education. I chose a small liberal arts college near Atlanta, Georgia and it was there I learned to seriously study. 

I also spent time walking in the neighborhoods around the campus looking at the cozy, bungalow-style homes built in the 1920s-1950s. I was enchanted with the glow of table lamps in the windows, ivy-covered chimneys and ferns and impatiens around the doorsteps and it all reminded me of the pictures I had seen in Southern Living! I found myself dreaming of this sort of romantic domesticity and having my own home and family someday. 

That summer, back at home, Mike and I continued spending time together…

As the summer came to an end, I realized I was sad. I didn’t want to go back to Georgia;  I wanted stay right there with Mike and never leave him. 

But I also loved learning and in the fall I went back for my second year of college. I made excellent grades and even began imagining a career in academia.  Might I someday be a college professor myself? The joy and headiness of learning added another layer to my feminine wants.

Within days, Mike was calling me and within a few weeks, he was flying down to see me.

Things became passionate between us quickly. The letters became more romantic, the visits more frequent; we expressed our love for each other and began discussing marriage. 

The next semester I transferred to a state college close to home and within a few months, Mike proposed to me.  That summer, we married. But I had no intention of being a housewife.

Wife and Motherhood

Now married and settled, my husband’s law practice began to take off and I continued with my education. I did exceptionally well and applied to graduate study and was accepted at Vanderbilt University (about an hour away).

I accepted the offer and was awarded a position as a teaching assistant. And then something unexpected happened…I discovered that I was pregnant!

Without skipping a beat, I turned down the Vanderbilt offer. But I’ll never forget the disappointment in my college advisor’s face when I told him. They had invested time and energy and hopes in my career and I’m sure they were bewildered. 

Nonetheless, I was excited about this baby. So I pivoted and applied for a position teaching Spanish at a nearby high school. When I was offered the job, I promptly took it. I was determined to have it all! 

We had our beautiful baby boy in December of that first teaching year.  My mother was happy to care for her first grandson while I was at school and so I went back to the classroom for the second semester.  

I enjoyed teaching, but I realized full time teaching was still more time than I wanted to be away from my baby. I resigned at the end of the school term.

Trying to Have It All, 1.0

Within a few weeks took a part-time job teaching in a small, private, Christian school, thinking it would fit better into my life as a mom; I ended up staying there three years. It was during this time that the anxiety began. I was overwhelmed with life.

I was a competent teacher and a loving wife and mother, but I was clueless about how to run a household.  My household was daily becoming more disorganized and messy: Papers, books, dishes, toys, bottles, diapers were taking over our house. My husband was patient with me, but I could tell he was also stressed from not being able to find things in the house. 

Then I had my first panic attack. I awoke one night with my heart pounding and shortness of breath. Was I dying? I got up and started doing things around the house to convince myself that I was okay. It helped some but the heavy anxiety did not go away. I started praying and calling out to Jesus for help and found much peace in that. The Lord had my attention. [see “Enter the Grace of God”]

I began reading the Bible on my own for the first time in my life. I read the Gospel of John and was fascinated by the wisdom and compassion of Christ. As I studied, many things began to change in my heart and I had the desire to follow the teachings of Christ.  

Our second beautiful baby boy was born in February, 1990.  At this point my husband asked me to resign from teaching, reasoning that both of us working outside of the home while raising two small children was too much stress on the family.  So I thought about it, realized he was right, and I resigned from my part-time teaching job. 

The Way Home

It was hard for me to calm down and to take up the quiet life of home at first. I still had that feeling that I wasn’t doing enough with my life. 

A turning point came while we were in Savannah, Georgia on a little vacation. The baby became sick, running a high fever. I felt alone and scared in a hotel room far from our pediatrician. As the fever went ever higher, feeling helpless and in a strange place, I opened the Bible that was in the nightstand next to the bed. I began reading in the book of Proverbs and one verse caught my attention.

Every wise woman builds her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. - Proverbs 14:1

And right there it all became clear to me! None of this careerism even compared to the preciousness of my little son! And that he needed all of me and not just a part. I realized that my lack of focus had also been a destructive force in my marriage and that the home was my responsibility. It was there and then that I gave myself over to the Lord’s will, to mothering and homemaking with all my heart. My little son recovered, thankfully, from his fever, and I had recovered my desire to be at home.

I began seeking out and reading books on homemaking. I was able to finally relax and enjoy my home. I slowed down, I learned to find satisfaction in doing menial tasks around the house. I noticed how much those tasks blessed and supported my husband as he faithfully went out every day to earn our living and how they gave my children an orderly, healthy and stable home to grow up in. This new attitude made a big difference!

I began teaching my oldest son to read, write, and do some basic math. We decided to homeschool our children after meeting some families who were successfully doing that. As we got into it, I found it enormously fulfilling to be a part of their early education and every moment of their growth and development. I had invested a great deal of effort into my education and training but now I could pour all that into the people I loved the most…my own children. 

Everything was fitting together...church, family, my love of learning and teaching. We had time to do things as a family on the weekends which was good for our marriage. I was fully focused on being a loving wife, raising my children and homeschooling. Those were happy years!

I still would not have called myself a housewife, though. I saw myself as someone who was staying at home for the sake of my children… a Stay-at-Home Mom. But this was a good start.

The housewife would come later.

Blessed is he that has found his work! Let him ask no other blessedness.—Carlyle

Love,

Amy Laurie <3

Obstacles to Homemaking: Inexperience

Today's post begins a series on overcoming the obstacles to homemaking that most of us face at some time or another.  Today we will be looking at the obstacle most common to new keepers of their homes...inexperience.

My morning routine is done.

To be a homemaker, even in a world of ample supplies and technological wonders, requires learning a set of skills and becoming experienced in them.

One of the great obstacles to gaining these skills is that from every side the young woman is told that the ordinary tasks of survival are insignificant and unworthy of her full attention.  These tasks are considered so insignificant that a woman receives very little training in them until one day she finds herself on a domestic island with no choice but to figure it all out on her own and no time to do it.  

What is often underestimated by the homemaker is the time and effort just to become experienced and competent at the fundamentals of managing a household: budgeting, meal planning, cooking, daily upkeep of stuff and laundry, time management, organizing, cleaning and maintenance.

There are also components of homemaking that many today consider hobbies, but have traditionally been seen as vital to the economy and happiness of the home such as gardening, baking, and crafts.

Then there is the spiritual work of homemaking. Creating a home is more than cleaning, cooking and organization.  A homemaker nurtures the spiritual growth of the household as she oversees daily and weekly routines and rituals as well as celebrating special days, holidays and traditions.

We, as the mothers of the house, are building small units of soul-sustaining culture. And this building takes time, practice and experience.

The wife and mother of the house must take responsibility for this work while not neglecting her primary role of being an affectionate and loving wife, raising children and taking care of her own personal needs. 

Now...looking at the components of keeping house...it seems a little overwhelming. But of course it can be done; we have the example of generations of mothers and homemakers to inspire us. 

So where should we start in overcoming inexperience?

Let's break our great task down into three steps:

1. First, we are going to find an encouraging mentor.
2. Second, we are going to manage expectations and pace ourselves.
3. Finally, we are going to learn and work the process of gaining

As a new wife, I was in love, but I had much to learn about being a good wife.

1) Find an encouraging mentor.

If you have a seasoned homemaker in your life, your mother or another wise and willing older woman, count yourself blessed and actively learn from her and take advantage of her experience. 

Unfortunately, few women these days have role models and active mentoring from an experienced older woman.  The good news is that there are excellent books, numerous homemaking blogs, vlogs and social media accounts that can help. We live in a technological age and we ought to take advantage of all it offers.  I’ve listed resources that have helped me here .

2) Manage expectations. 

Homemaking isn't learned overnight, so give yourself the time and energy to learn how to do this work.  Even if every woman were prepared for keeping house by a diligent and competent mother, it still would take few years to get used to her own husband and her own home. 

And then whenever there is a move or a major life change, the routines and habits need to be recalibrated and in some sense we start all over.

To those ladies who already have homes and families and are in the middle of trying to figure out the skills of homemaking as you go, let me just say…I sympathize with you.  This is where I was when I started out and I know it can be difficult and stressful.  My advice is to clear out your schedule as much as possible so that you have more time to develop competency in homemaking. 

In the meantime, slow down, relax and enjoy your home. Homemaking is as much a journey as it is a destination. Try to get a little better every day, be consistent, and you will see your house slowly but surely improving to your great delight. Maybe you were only able to declutter one drawer today. Congratulations! Pat yourself on the back. Sit down for a moment with a cup of tea. Go back and look at the drawer a few times later in the day ( I always do that). Did you put "Declutter 15 minutes" on your to-do list? If you did, then enjoy the feeling of accomplishment as you cross it off as DONE. You ARE making progress.

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good; her candle goeth out by night. - Proverbs 31:18

Taking time every day to savor your wins will motivate you to do even more.

3) Work the process. 

Running a household is a coordinated activity that requires learning, then practice, and then more practice until it all becomes automatic.  When we get to the point that we can run the house on autopilot, we can then better deal with children and interruptions and we can add creative and outside pursuits. 

But many women are hard on themselves, silently berating themselves for not being able to keep up with it all.  What they do not take into account is that there is a skill acquisition process to homemaking, a step-by-step process, and that the skills can be learned and mastered. A growth mindset is essential.

There are threes stages to learning any physical skill: cognitive, associative and autonomous (Posner and Fitts)

1- Cognitive stage: This is the point in which the learner is figuring out how to do a particular task or following instructions.   The learner is aware of and thinking about each stage of the process (individual tasks like washing a load of laundry, cooking a chuck roast, changing a diaper, setting up a kitchen drawer). At the beginning stages of homemaking, each task must be separated out, understood, and practiced individually.  

One idea at this stage is to make a list of all the individual tasks that go into running the home each day, time the task, think about how to do it in the most efficient way and then practice it until mastery is achieved. 

For example, as a beginning cook, it's a good idea to learn and even memorize individual recipes and practice these. As the basic recipes and techniques become automatized, more recipes can be added to the repertoire. (I suggest keeping a card file or a notebook of your recipes and adding to them new ones are found, tested and become part of the regular rotation of meals.)

Homework: make a list of all the separate homemaking tasks you do every day in a notebook or on index cards....one card for each task. Go through your list or stack of cards each day.

2- Associative stage: The learner begins to put similar tasks together into a routine. She begins to chunk together aspects of the process (individual, related tasks chunked into daily and weekly routines). What are some related tasks that are good to start early in the day? Decide on those and then put them together into a morning routine. 

Here is an example of various tasks that have been chunked into my morning routine:

6:00 a.m. 

Get up (I consider this a task...lol), brush hair and pretty up a bit. Open blinds. (10)

• Make coffee.
• Take supplements. (5)
• Make breakfast for and pack a lunch for Mr. C. (15)
• Read Bible and pray. (30)

7:00 a.m.

• Morning tidy: gather laundry, papers and other things out of place (5)
• Start a load of laundry. (5)
• See Mr. C off to work. (5)

15 minutes

• Make and eat breakfast. (15)
• Load dishes in dishwasher and clean counters. Quick vac. (10)
• Dry load of laundry. (5)

30 minutes

• Quick shower, moisturize, brush hair and teeth and get dressed. (20)
• Quick tidy the bathroom (swish toilet, wipe down sink, counters and toilet seat). (5)
• Make the bed.(5)

30 minutes

• Look at calendar and deal with papers. (5)
• Think about what's for supper. Pull out necessary ingredients (5)
• Fold laundry and put away (5)

15 minutes

Be ready to start writing by 8:30.

When I do these things, I've given myself and my household a great start to the day. I check off my morning routine from my list and enjoy the feeling of taking care of myself and the people I love first thing.

Homework: After practicing and timing the individual tasks for a few weeks, organize them into three piles: label one pile your morning routine, one pile your afternoon routine, and one pile your evening routine. Now practice your routines one at a time until you have them memorized....sort of like a dance.

3- Autonomous stage: The learner can now put that component of her day on autopilot as routines and habits are in place and improvement stops. Now once you have that morning routine down it will become a habit. A habit is something you do that is easier to do than not. 

You probably have a habit and a routine already in place. Many people have a habit of looking at a smart phone first thing in the morning and most likely do it without thinking. The problem with this habit is that we can often lose track of time and end up not doing more healthy and necessary things. Also some of the things we look at on our phones can put us in a negative mindset for the rest of the day.

A healthy morning routine works in the same way.... once you have done it over and over, you don't have to think about it anymore. But the difference is that with a healthy routine in place, you are unconsciously and without much effort improving your life every day. This is the great benefit of having good habits. They are difficult at first, but once they become automatic, they are like magic in our lives. They are the gift we give to ourselves that just keeps on giving. 

Homework: List some things that go beyond the basics of housekeeping that you would like to add into your life at some point. For example, do you want to learn to bake or garden? Maybe learn to play an instrument? Write it down on a card and think about how you can incorporate it into your daily or weekly schedule.

And if you want to keep on growing, new habits and new things must be learned. So don't get stuck in routines unless you like it that way. :-)

Enjoy the feeling of accomplishment as you put into place basic homemaking skills and routines. Be consistent.  Then with some momentum built up, you roll onto the open field of possibility and the more creative and rewarding aspects of keeping house.  

Start by doing what’s necessary;  then do what's possible;  and suddenly you are doing the impossible.  -St. Francis of Assisi

Finally, homemaking, like so many things we undertake in life, is a journey, so remember to take time to enjoy yourself, your home and your family.

Love,

Amy Laurie

Homemaking Resources

I'm often asked about the books that I recommend on marriage and domestic life. In today's post, I'm going to share with you a few of my favorites.

The Holy Bible

The book that has had the most profound influence on my life is the Holy Bible and so I will list some relevant Bible passages first. To get the most out of it, read the Bible slowly and intentionally. And read prayerfully.  

• Genesis 1-4: These chapters set forth the beginnings of humanity, the creation of man and woman and their respective purposes and roles, the reasons for their fall into sin and suffering, and the consequences of their disobedience.
• Proverbs: Written by King Solomon of Judah and Israel, this book of advice gives general admonitions of practical wisdom. It has 31 chapters, so one chapter a day can be read going through the whole book in a month. There are 31 verses in the last chapter (Proverbs 31) and 22 of them are devoted to a the qualities of a virtuous woman and ideal wife. I've memorized these verses and found them to be a blessing in my life.
• Song of Solomon is a another work by King Solomon, more poetic in nature, it is very romantic and has much to say about married, sexual love.
• Matthew 5:32, 19:3-9, Mark 10: 2-12: Jesus's teaches in these passages on the sanctity of marriage and God's abhorrence of divorce.
• 1 Cor. 7:10-11: In these verses, the apostle Paul's gives advice on marriage and divorce.
• Ephesians 5: 22-33, Colossians 3: 17-25: The apostle Paul gives the structure and purpose of Christian marriage.
• 1 Timothy 5:1, Titus 2: 3-5: Paul gives advice on how women in the church are to conduct themselves and their ministry as homemakers.
• 1 Peter 3: 1-7: The Apostle Peter gives advice to Christian women on their ministry as wives, their behavior and how to relate to their husbands

She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness. - Proverbs 31: 27

The older women likewise that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;  that they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.  - Titus 2:3-5

Much can be gained from meditating on verses like these.  I've found that they have given me plenty of challenge in my Christian and homemaking journey.

*******

Other than the Word of God, there are several books, websites, blogs, podcasts and YouTube channels that have been a great help to me.  I have asterisked* the ones that have impacted me the most.  Please keep in mind that everyone is a little different, so always sift and tailor any lifestyle advice to your particular husband, family and situation.  

Resources on the practical aspects of keeping house:

*The Legacy of Home, Mrs. Sharon White.  Mrs. White writes this lovely blog and also has written many books on practical homemaking, gives tips here on budgeting, menu planning, cleaning, organizing as well as having the right mindset and dealing with difficulties.  

*Sink Reflections, Marla Cilley, aka FlyLady.  This is a great book if you are looking for lists of what you should be doing on a daily and weekly basis.  She not only tells you what to do but how to deal with motivation and mindset issues. Flylady is very good for people who are creatives and tend to get sidetracked. Her website is here.

*A Better Life with Kat, YouTube and Patreon.  I have followed Kat on Patreon for the last year and she gives daily step-by-step instructions and encouragement to get your home clean and organized.  She bases her advice in the FlyLady system which you can read more about here . Kat is very helpful, calm and concise.  

*Diane in Denmark, YouTube, Instagram.  Diane also gives daily encouragement on implementing a household and personal system. She is a personal life coach specializing in routines and time management. She’s also based in the Flylady system. Diane has helped me in pulling together my wardrobe.

The Secret Slob, YouTube . This is Flylady for ladies with young children at home.  She has some wonderful printables that make the FlyLady system very easy and doable for young moms.

Vintage Gothic Homemaker, YouTube and her blog is here . Rain San Martin has some lovely videos on the daily rhythms of home I appreciate and love her videos on vintage habits and routines. She will make you excited to live more quietly, simply and intentionally.

Home Comforts, Cheryl Mendelson.  This is an encyclopedia on housework...her goal is to explain all the components that go into making a clean and comfortable home.  She goes into very great detail, so keep that in mind.

A Mother’s Rule of Life, Holly Pierlot.  This book, written by the homeschooling mother of a large family, will show you how to schedule your day in order to get it all done and grow closer to God at the same time.  She comes from a strong Catholic perspective.

The Thankful Homemaker, Marci Ferrell, YouTube and her blog is here . Marci  is a wonderful Titus 2 mentor. She gives practical homemaking advice on marriage, homemaking and parenting from a strong Christian, Biblical base.  

On self-improvement, mindset, marriage, and relationships (because relationships are a big part of homemaking):

Home Living, Lydia Sherman, YouTube and her blog is here.  Lydia gives encouraging talks several times a week.   Her topics are preparing for homemaking, getting the work done, and dealing with people.  Her blog has years of wonderful articles. Lydia is a lovely Christian lady, a veteran homeschooler and also an accomplished seamstress.  

*The Total Woman, Maribel Morgan. This book is old but it has some great marriage advice and fun tips.  It is the book that opened my eyes to how to make my husband happy at home.

*Love Life for Every Married Couple, Dr. Ed Wheat.  Dr. Wheat gives very sound marriage advice and also gives hope to those in estranged marriages.

On the Art of Homemaking: 

Hidden Art of Homemaking, Edith Schaeffer.  Mrs. Schaeffer gives many ideas on how to add beauty and creativity to your day as a homemaker and also stressed the important role of homemaking in the Christian home.

Mrs. Sharp’s Traditions, Sarah Ban Breathnach. This book takes you through each month of the year with some marvelous suggestions for daily and seasonal rituals and traditions.  This was one of my favorite books when I had children at home. The tone is love, old-fashioned and relaxing.

*Living a Beautiful Life, Alexandra Stoddard.  I think every woman in America should read this book whether she is a housewife or not.   Alexandra comes from the perspective of a woman who works outside of the home but also has a great heart for homemaking and creating beauty and comfort at home.  Every chapter in this book is a treasure.

Enjoy!

Amy Laurie